Friday, September 9, 2011

A Week of Sorrow

 

This has been a cool and wet week here in the Hills.
It seems strange not to look out and not see brown grass and not to have to drag around the water hose at this time of the year. How I wish this rain could have been diverted to Texas where they are in such need. I am certain that the eastern coast line states would have wished the same thing where there is record flooding. This year is still going the course of extremes with no middle ground. Makes one really wonder what extremes we may be in for this Fall and Winter.

AutumnClematis_Blooming2 I was hoping to get out into the garden this week with the cooler temperatures to finish up a flowerbed that I had tore into but the drizzling rains have kept me indoors.
I did mud in a couple of new plants that arrived. Mudded in? If I remember right that is what I had to do to the new plants this spring also.

Gaillardia_Rain My heart has not really been into the garden and on flowers this week even with the arrival of new Fall catalogs. The loss of an ex-BIL this week has taken over my mind. Though I have been a single mother for many years I still care and feel the loss of family and friendships gained during the marriage.

Cosmos When that death is self inflicted it is even harder to accept. The  why’s and what if’s that we can never understand or find the answers for tend to crowd our thoughts until we decided that we will never know the answers so it is time to stop thinking about it and trying to figure it all out.

Foxglove_Secondblooms

As long as they are talking about suicide they are still crying out for help. It is when they are silent from accepting the act and their quietness comes, that is when red flags should go up and help is really needed.
Being a Christian woman I have to think that in that last split second that there may have been clarity and forgiveness and that keeps the family from falling apart and gives them a little peace.
When someone is in so much pain or afraid of life is it an act of surrender or is it an act of selfishness?

Rebrandt2D
Alas now those answers will never be found.
Prayer and love to those who are left behind who try to understand and accept this loss is what I ask.
To those who may contemplate this act themselves, your families are not better off without you and would want to help and continue to love you unfailing. We want to help you carry your pain and burdens and help you find healing.
Do not give up on yourselves.

GrussanAachen_Rosebud
                                              You are never alone.

31 comments:

Darla said...

Oh Lona, so sorry about your loss...I really have no words for comfort...just know I am here.

Patricia Tryon said...

Lona, this reads like a beautiful prayer, both the text and the lovely photographs. May the "peace that passes all understanding" bring consolation to all of you.

FlowerLady said...

Oh dear Lona ~ I am sorry for the loss in your family and under such tragic circumstances.

You are right about us never being alone. He is always with us, through all circumstances. Faith and hope are all that we have, and we can only take each day as it comes and trust Him to work all things out.

I pray for those suffering through the abundance of rain and flooding and for those going through drought conditions and wild fires. May relief come to all soon.

Lovely photos from your wonderful gardens as always.

Have a nice weekend ~ FlowerLady

Liz said...

Hi Lona,

So sorry to hear about your ex BIL.

Earlier this summer an old friend also did the same (how does one talk about such things? How are we supposed to describe it? Taking their life? Deciding to die? I don't know.)
Sorry that you're also going through the same :(

Balisha said...

What a meaningful post. Your words and pictures are helping you deal with this death as well as giving us a glimpse into your life. You are such a caring person...
I thought that this post was going to be about 9/11, but found it to be about something so tragic to you.Blessings to you and your family....Balisha

HolleyGarden said...

I am so sorry for your loss. So sad that people can get in such a state of sorrow that they can see no hope for its end. Such a hard situation for the survivors. This is such a touching post, and the pictures enhance it even more. I hope everyone can find some peace.

.............................. said...

Jennifer@threedogsinagarden
Hi Lona, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have never had to cope with a suicide, and can only try to imagine how hard it must be. It is wonderful that you have your Christian beliefs to give you some comfort. Also take heart in the fact that there are lots of your friends thinking of you in this difficult time.

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

I am so very sorry.

Your words are so real, and from the heart, I hope that they help heal.

Having gone through this twice now in our family, I can relate.

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

TheGardeningBlog said...

Lona, I'm sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you and your kids for the loss of their uncle.

Patsy said...

It hurts to know so many people are suffering. 2011 has been a heart Breaking year.
So sorry for you and his family.

T Opdycke said...

Dear Lona...my heart and thoughts go out to you and your family, both now and then. Your sweet words accompanied by images that inspire contemplation are so lovely and true.

madcobug said...

So sad, Prayers for the family and friends. Helen

elaine rickett said...

I am sorry for your loss, who know what goes on inside someone else's head.

C. Joy said...

So sorry to hear of your family's loss. Your words are such a comfort to me, I am trying to find words to comfort you. God bless you and your family.

Janet, The Queen of Seaford said...

Oh Lona, so sorry. Very sad.

gardenwalkgardentalk.com said...

Such a tragedy. I am very sorry for your loss and hope prayers are the answer for all. God Bless.

Carolyn ♥ said...

Such a beautiful post Lona, in thoughts and images. I offer my heartfelt prayers that you make find peace and comfort. Far away hugs!

Karen said...

Lona, I am so sorry for your family's loss.

Kay said...

Hi Lona...yes my Ben passed away on June 15th after almost 4 months in the hospital. I miss him terribly. He was my life.

Kay

Pearl@serenitycove said...

Lona, So sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers...Hugs Pearl

Masha said...

I am so sorry about your loss and hope with time you will feel less sad. Your wrote a beautiful post.

aussiebybirth said...

Lona,
I battled depression right after college and I battled it and lived through several serious attempts including an overdose. I was finally was diagnosed with bi-polar and got the right drugs which have balanced me out.
Since I've been on the edge, I want you to know God weeps for their pain and if they've lived a good life, God will welcome them with open arms. I hate it when people call suicide a sin. Walk in their shoes or shut the hell up to those who will judge them.
I'm so sorry for your loss and and I hope my insight helps you.
Best,
Patrick
visit me at patricksgarden.com or by email at pat@plps.com

redneckrosarian said...

Beautiful heartfelt post... .Thanks

Gatsbys Gardens said...

Hi Lona,

Even though people are separated by divorce it does not take away the feelings we once had. I have a friend who was divorced when her ex-husband passed away and she told me how much my condolences meant to her.

This was a lovely tribute.

Eileen

Msrobin said...

Even without a death in the family, the weather this week has been hard to take. I have a friend who is a funeral director, and he has been sharing the other side of dealing with a violent suicide where a customer torched himself. I'm sorry for your family's loss.

The Sage Butterfly said...

I think a suicide is one of the most difficult deaths to understand. We are left to try to understand...and there is no understanding. My thoughts are with you...

Rebecca @ In The Garden said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Suicide is so difficult to comprehend, because there is always the question of why. My thoughts are with your during this difficult time.

debsgarden said...

Dear Lona, I am just now catching up with blogging and am saddened to hear of a tragic death in your ex's family. I am so sorry for your loss. The circumstances make it even more painful. A beloved uncle of mine committed suicide. He was old and in a lot of pain, and maybe we could justify it, but I always thought it was selfish for him to do that to his wife, who found him and had lots of health problems of her own.

myomyohi said...

I am sorry for your pain, hope God forgives even our ultimate sins. He is such a loving God that I have to believe your former BIL is walking with Jesus.

pogonip said...

My sincere sympathy, Lona. The gardener in me understands seasons and death and renewal. It's those "why's" that nag so badly after a suicide and leave one feeling incomplete. My thoughts are with you and the entire family as you struggle with this untimely loss.

sweetbay said...

Lona I am so sorry about the loss of your ex BIL.

I believe suicide desparate act of someone who is in so much pain and feels so alone that they don't feel they have an alternative. So tragic, both for them and for those they leave behind.

(((hugs)))